When my trans child decided to cut me off his life, he forced me to rethink who I was. Motherhood had always defined me.

Ruminations is my attempt to heal by regurgitating the turmoil I carry and processing  it through my heart and mind. I have not made the decision neither to spit or swallow what comes out that process. My writings will tell.

This blog holds two chapters: Ruminations or the present, and The Old Self as the past.

Ruminations begins with the Goodbye Letter, the decisive moment of separation. The Old Self is a collection of posts from my hidden online journal, before the rupture.

Both combined represent a section of my journey as a mother: the part where I failed.